July 23, 1985

 

I have been very depressed the last two days. I don’t know why. I’m lonely I think. All the people here are in couples or are very young. They’re very snobby and hardly answer a smile. I go swimming by myself and am very alone after. I wish Jan or Anita or one of my friends my age was here or even if I just met someone my age – someone who didn’t know all about me but wanted to talk about important things and someone who was willing to do crazy things or wanted to do stuff when you wanted to. A boy would be nice to go walking hand in hand along the beach with in the evening or a girl to go boy watching with at night or swimming and tanning and girl talk in the day. I play solitaire or read too, but dad has taken over the cards for a while I think.

I don’t feel real hungry any more either – uninterested in food. I eat chocolate bars a lot but even they are tasteless. I’m not homesick or anything either, just alone. Mum and dad have each other and are hard to talk to and Cherie is just too dull and she never wants to do anything fun.

I hope my figure is getting better and that I’m a bit taller and that my tan is nice and that my haircut turns out nice etc etc.

My toes are starting to look nice with the white showing on the nail.

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